Sometimes, a war that is dealt with in silence, carries the heaviest pain and sorrow for those who suffer it
im not of the kind of guys who likes to make drama of his personal life and problems...but the thing is that i have no other place where i can let out a tiny bit of what is happening inside me right now

Those who knows me here, know me for being a Happy, worryless, hyper, troll, and pervie guy who seems to have no real problems in his life

Thing is, that is totally the opposite, for years i have been under the heavy weight in my back of "Parental Problems"....in someway, i've come as far as to say that i could have gotten used to them
but that doesnt means it doesnt troubles my mind....but it does...i've lived under a horrible paranoia for years now the shit has hit the fan for real and now im really experiencing how it is to fall under a real depression
drowning in a deep sensation of desperation and hopelessness, even reaching the limits of thinking about just to run away...or maybe even more...
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Dont get me wrong...to kill myself is something that i just wouldnt dare to do...but that doesnt means the idea of just..."Leave this world" is not crossing my mind at this moment...in my current state, if there were any "external agent" that might be set to just finish me off, i'd welcome it, or if it were like just...to fall asleep and never wake up, that would be the best for me

Its just too much what i've come to face this last months, more than what even i, who suffered bullying my 12 years of school and overcame it, this is something way above it...more than what im currently able to take

I've certanily reached my very limit at this moment
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I know that more than 1 here dislikes me and might rejoice from this...i've done very bad deeds and i accept it, is it karma? i dont know...but this kind of pain and suffering, is something i dont wish to anyone, even for those who hurted or betrayed me in the past...no one ever deserves this...


I dont know how much is still yet to come...but im certainly not sure if i'll be able to keep this up for much longer...




If you did
Thanks for reading this, it means a lot for me, if you didnt, i understand, many of you have already your own problems to deal with.

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